OMG!! in case any of you are ardent readers of xiaxue's famous blog.. i am NOT the lumpy she is dissing in her latest entry.. that guy is getting an ass whooping and it aint me

first of all.. i reckon i can swim more than half a lap before dying.. maybe even 2.. before i even get close to having a cardiac arrest.. for some reason i dont do well in water.. running a marathon is fine by me.. but put me in water and its a whole new story.. but still.. nowhere as lousy as this other lumpy imposter..

secondly.. i DO NOT have a gay ass cabbage patch kid.. i did have a hush puppy.. but no patch kids anywhere.. ninja turtles.. ghostbusters.. marshmallow man.. carebears.. barbie dolls.. to name a few of the toys ive owned..

thirdly.. i DO NOT have facial warts.. and i dont live in toa payoh.. i live in upper serangoon.. i do have twin warts on my knees though.. probably from the bacteria i picked up somewhere in lim chu kang while bashing through the forests.. what are twin warts you ask? well they are warts who stuck together.. like siamese twins.. hence twin warts.. if you ask nicely.. i might even let you fondle them..

lastly.. it is NOT 2.5 inches.. it nowhere near 2.5 inches.. 2.5 inches is like a bloody staedler eraser.. it is also about the size of an original crunchy australian nougat.. or the size of my tiny gloworm ive kept since kindergarten.. which is defnately smaller than my soldier of leisure..

i also do not associate myself with dawn.. why would i do that when i do not find her in the least attractive.. vignesh might want to associate himself with her.. because he thinks shes hot.. but not me..

so in conclusion.. i am NOT 'Lumpy the blogger' she is referring to.. i dont even have a blogspot account.. i am lumpy the diarylander. i am so scared if i introduce myself in future to people who do not know me.. they might think i am the lumpy she is referring to and they will laugh at my 2.5 inches.. how could she soil my good name.. i dont even know her.. the only connection i have with her is that shes sheena's schoolmate.. i am so disappointed..

in any case..i have decided.. the next shopping trip i go.. it will be to hongkong.. next in line will be thailand.. followed by far east plaza.. ok just kidding on the last one.. but it is considerably cheaper.. 1.40 mrt ride compared to 300 dollars plane ticket.. and if i am rich and famous like vignesh.. which i never ever will be.. i would wanna go shopping in 1. Tokyo 2. New York 3. Far east plaza

so anybody interested in the shopping trip please start saving up..i do not know when exactly when im going but it will be in the near future.. click below to apply for position of shopping kaki(s)

<< || >>