'in every relationship.. everyone is alone'

what does it mean to be truly alone.. would it mean to be alone physically.. emotionally or mentally? in the haze of an awoken dream this question was posed.. almost like a plea.. a plea i sadly failed to answer because it was lost in the maze of unanswered questions.. and i was unprepared to find a way out by myself

being lost is not a good feeling.. the sense of helplessness that pervades your mind transcends to the very core as unrest sets in.. I of all people should know better.. have you ever been lost in the jungle.. with no one to turn to and no where to go.. lost in a place where bearings and maps hold no consequence.. where the setting of the sun triggers a fear greater than any ever imagined?

so after a night of rest.. i steeled myself for the journey out.. as i sat there listening to the strains of the cello.. i thought long and very hard..

the plea wasnt a plea for help.. it was a silent plea for understanding.. for that fleeting moment when 2 minds meet in the same place.. travel in the same car.. with exactly the same destination in mind.. and no one feels alone if for just that short split second moment.. how ironic it is then that it is in being unable to give that understanding that one can truly understand and come to terms with the whole concept

take the case of an unrequited lover.. he is seemingly the worst off.. because his whole relationship is based on a foundation of loneliness.. to be shared by him and himself alone.. never to be revealed to anyone least of all the girl of his dreams.. she may never feel alone for his heart unfalteringly stays by her side whether she realises it or not and the constant affection she receives makes sure she never has a taste of what loneliness is like.. and how can anyone even fathom it when they have never experienced it.. and so he is invariably alone because she will never understand the sacrifices he made to keep her safe from the very thing that is eating him alive inside out.. his only saving grace the fact that it is a choice he willingly makes..

what about the couple then.. bound by a mutual promise of understanding? do they feel alone? how is it possible when they both share something in common.. or is it really the same thing both of them are feeling.. everyone sees things differently.. what she is experiencing he may never understand in all entirety because he never tried to.. why he never tried to is because he never felt the same way.. under the pretense that what they had was one and the same.. the understanding that they held promise to suddenly seems brittle and fragile in the glaring scrutiny..when how she views love.. tucked away in that small safe corner of her mind.. so sacred and precious.. is inherently vastly different from how he views love.. that is when both are left alone.. unable to fill the void that lingers between their souls even as their bodies hug close in the tightest embrace.. unlike the unrequited lover.. who expects nothing in return.. this is a relationship where one expects to be understood and least expects being alone.. hence to feel loneliness in a supposed union.. where the only union is perhaps only that of the physical kind.. it becomes immediately clear who is the more tortured of the 2..

all is lost it seems.. but i would like to believe there is hope yet.. for it is only through the bittersweet beauty of being alone.. that we can truly realize and appreciate just how precious and delicate those fleeting moments of understanding are..

i wouldnt have it any other way

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